I don't feel much like writing this morning, but I have found it to be therapeutic to do so in the past, so here it is. This has been a week of hell. I have certainly had worse weeks..like when my Mom died, or when my Dad went into a coma and died.. This week it was pets. Two of them, just a few days apart. Add to that being in mega amounts of pain with little to no relief, and it totals into a week of hell.

On Thursday morning, we got the call that our little 11 yr old Yorkie had passed away at the vet hospital over night. My husband and I were both crushed. For a 4.5 lb dog, she had us wrapped tightly around her little paw. I have been in pain since Sunday night and more than a little scared about what it could be, and maybe my mind was more concerned with my own health on Tuesday and Wednesday, because we didn't recognize that Booti was that sick until I called to check on her Wed afternoon and heard she was in a coma.  I had fully expected to come home and see her bouncing up, glad to see us and to go to her own room. Instead, I left work and rushed her to the vet. A big shoutout to Blythewood Animal Hospital here. They did everything they could and then some to save her. It just wasn't to be.

Thursday morning, after I had told my husband about the vet call and Booti passing, he told me 'go to the ER. Now.' Huh? He never advocates going to the Emergency Room. He did this week. He called and texted and bugged me till I drove myself down there. I was sure it was a kidney stone trying to pass or a blockage of some kind, because it is just that kind of pain. Nope. Kidney Infection. Bad enough that they put me on an IV antibiotic. Gave me percocet which have very little affect on the pain. Probably because I flipped a bit with the 'really low dose' of morphine they gave me in the ER. I'm a lightweight when it comes to drugs I guess.

I started feeling better Friday night, but Saturday morning I woke up in pain again. So I thought I would get the grocery shopping out of the way just in case. Good thing. Came home from the grocery store and found one of our cats, Disco, paralyzed in the back end and crying. So now there is a trip to the Vet ER which is really expensive. Dr there said Disco had thrown a blood clot and she had a heart condition. It was decided to put her down rather than let her suffer. And I broke down and joined my daughter in crying. It was more than I could take right then. It still is if I let myself think about it too much. Meanwhile I am still in the same amount of pain and all I can do is pray for healing, cause the doctors aren't helping me ;(

I have cried out to God this week. I'm not sure if he chose to allow more tragedy and pain or what. I know he heard me. I am still praying. Pray with me.

Aaaagh, I hate kidney stones. I have lived with them all my adult life and I still manage to keep producing them. This morning is day three of the most recent 'episode' and OMG the pain is horrible. :( And its not moving, which is really odd. Last time this happened it was a certain kind of stone that was blocking the kidney and this is the same kind of pain..just on the other side. Yippee.

God will get me through it. I just have to bear with it. But I am human and it is seriously affecting my ability to be civil to people ;( Waaaah. Gimme my security blanket now so I can curl up in a corner and feel sorry for myself. Sigh.